Egging Us On To Victory

As Chairman of the Bastrop County Republican Party, I achieved a milestone Saturday. I managed to have remarks published in a local paper that were relevant enough to get my car egged. Yes, you read that right. My car was egged. And according to my wife, who found the mess in my absence, it was a lot of eggs.

Oh, it could have been a random act of vandalism, isolated to my house, that happened to be the first such act of vandalism I've ever had in my three years living in Tahitian Village, and that happened to occur on the same morning that I was published speaking out on something politically volatile. And it also might have been attributable to a large flock of chickens that roosted in my tree that morning on their way North from Peru.

Ironically, the article I submitted, and which was published at least in the Bastrop Advertiser, was explaining the nature and basis for American outrage over passage of the health care bill. I explained, from my point of view, the nature of the outrage, its depth, its rationale, and that people of differing perspective should not expect it to go away before November. You who are on our e-mail list received an advance copy of that article titled "An Outrage Explained." So, after informing the locals of the extent of the political outrage that is out there, someone takes it into their head that throwing eggs is the way to deal with the political landscape. I wish I knew who it was. That person needs to be nominated as President Obama's Czar of the Public Mood. If there was ever a trick in the book that the President has not thought of to antagonize voters, the egg hurler might be the person to fill the gap.

After reflecting on the eggs and the political statement I presume it represents, the following pros and cons of debating with eggs have occurred to me:

PROS:

1. If you have no meaningful rebuttal, retaliation is a good substitute: and how better than with eggs?
2. The splat of the egg must be a satisfying sound.
3. Eggs are biodegradable - if you're going to be mean, go green!
4. Hurling anything, when frustrated, is a great stress release. (You do know you won, right?)
5. It helps the economy. Although the benefit to supermarkets and car washes will be negligible, we need all the help we can get!
6. It's hard to refute an egg.

CONS:

1. Eggs fail to persuade. Although they give food for thought, information and logic are more useful to help others see your point of view.
2. Eggs leave your point vague. Cynics might even question whether you had a point.
3. Eggs leave your motivation vague. Those whose views you are attempting to advance will be least likely to believe you were actually trying to advance their views with your eggs. Where's the heroism in that?
4. Eggs could allow us to chicken out of engaging each other in a meaningful way.
5. Egg hurling sullies the conscience with criminal activity, and creates needless paperwork for Sheriff's Deputies.
6. The real victims of egg-hurling is the chickens.


After weighing the pros and cons of debating with eggs, I have determined that it is not a recommended form of political discourse for those of our party. Therefore, I will not be returning an egg for an egg. Unfortunately, we have just missed the opportunity to include that policy in our County Platform, but we can see that it gets included in two years. Having set the example, I now reach out to the other party and ask that even if civil discourse is not appealing to you, for the love of PETA, save the chickens!

While I pick up eggshells (because I sure won't be worried about walking on them), here is something constructive you can do. You can append your comment to my article on the Bastrop Advertiser's web site. I've just informed the public that the outrage is widespread and deep. But that's just me. And as long as its just me, I'm an easy target. If you agree, go to the following link, and let your community know:

http://bastropadvertiser.com/2010/03/26/an-outrage-explained/

My only request is that you learn a lesson from the egg-hurler: be respectful, nice, informational, and logical. Name-calling and rants have fewer pros than eggs, and they are less anonymous.

With each new insult we receive let's absorb it with grace, and allow that insult to egg us on to victory in November!

Albert L. Ellison, Chairman
Bastrop County Republican Party


"If Voters are unhappy with results, then that's what egg-hurling is elections are for."
-- President Obama, February 25, 2010, at the Healthcare Summit